Road Signs
My dad sent this along, and posting it here probably violates some copyright laws or syndication contracts or something. (So if you find this here, Universal Press Syndicate or whoever, I'll take it down. I just don't think you'll ever find me. Welcome, if you do.) It's really here to lead me to an entirely insignificant observation I made while driving through a well-to-do neighborhood near mine the other day. While passing through the "Traffic Calming Area," I grew a little agitated. What had formerly been labeled "Speed Humps" (giggle) were now called "Speed Tables" on the yellow warning signs next to them. There's probably a distinction, as I believe there is between the little raised asphalt strips found mostly in parking lots known as "speed bumps" and the higher, more rounded "humps." I agree with that nomenclature, for what it's worth. "Table," however, strikes me as a really dumb word for what amounts to a speed hump and/or a raised crosswalk, and I suspect the reason they're called "speed tables" and not either of the former is that:
- (a) they are located in an upscale neighborhood and "table" seems classier, though really the bar for "classier" isn't that high when "humps" is part of the conversation
- (b) they're not at a reasonable crossing place, and
- (c) teenagers kept stealing their signs.
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