Why I am Not Hot

I am not hot for various reasons, including the facts that I am neither "fly" nor "taking it to the Bay" (in fact, I've never taken it to the Bay, though I would like to), but mostly because I have never heard the song "This is Why I'm Hot" or heard of its performer and, presumably, author, the rapper Mims. I certainly did not know it was the number 1 song in America. However, thanks to the Village Voice's Rob Harvilla (and you again, JCB), I have an incisive and precisely illustrated guide to the song, should I ever hear it. While you're considering your own relative hotness, I suggest you check out the Hot/Like chart at the end of the article.

As for me, though I won't claim to be hot like "fish grease" or even a toddy, I do think you could consider me agreeable like a successful retail transaction and reasonably attractive like a refrigerator magnet.