The Chew-Chew Diet

I've been meaning to post this article for a while, because I found it "deliciously" entertaining. (I want to punch myself for writing that.) It's about a British food critic who takes on the gastronomic habits of the "obese but happy son" of Queen Victoria, King Edward VII, for a week. I've been trying to think of a way to lose some weight without dieting (or exercising, as I am somewhat injured), and I think this article has provided the method:

A stonking meal in a stonking restaurant. But alas, Sue and I are being taught the chew-chew diet, or Fletcherism, the dieting system devised by Horace Fletcher which compelled diners to bow their heads and chew each mouthful for one minute, until it had liquefied and could be simply absorbed by the mouth. After each minute’s chew is up, a bell is rung and one is allowed to swallow. We look ridiculous, and it makes the food taste revolting, but it does result in my eating less. Or perhaps that was because I have had 2,500 calories at breakfast and haven’t poo’d in two days.

I would also like to learn what the word "stonking" means, and begin to use it, either ironically or to take on a condescending Brit-hip air.

I also enjoyed this example of Edwardian excess:

DAY 3

Breakfast: The usual, plus a nice fat Cuban cigar. King Edward, in his final illness, took his doctor’s advice and promised to limit himself to two cigars before breakfast.